Is Encouragement Ableism? Rethinking Support in Forest School
Introduction
Encouragement is often seen as a cornerstone of good leadership and teaching. It’s how we show support, boost confidence, and motivate others. But what happens when encouragement crosses a line and becomes pressure? In this episode of The Forest School Podcast, Lewis and Wem tackle a challenging question: can encouragement unintentionally become ableism? Their discussion sheds light on the complexities of language, intention, and inclusivity in outdoor education.
What Do We Mean by Encouragement?
The episode begins with a reflection on what encouragement looks like in practice. Wem explains: “Encouragement is meant to be supportive—saying, ‘You’ve got this,’ or ‘I believe in you.’ But sometimes those words can feel like pressure to perform or conform.”
Lewis adds: “It’s about understanding the difference between genuine support and pushing someone beyond their comfort zone. What’s encouraging to one person might be overwhelming to another.”
When Encouragement Becomes Harmful
A central theme of the discussion is the unintended consequences of well-meaning encouragement. Wem shares: “For some children, especially neurodivergent or disabled individuals, encouragement can feel like a demand to mask their struggles or meet a standard that doesn’t align with their abilities.”
Lewis gives an example: “If a child hesitates to climb a tree and we say, ‘Come on, you can do it,’ we think we’re helping. But what if that child is saying, ‘I don’t feel safe’? Are we really listening, or are we projecting our expectations onto them?”
This dynamic can lead to masking (hiding struggles to meet perceived expectations) and burnout, particularly in children who already feel the pressure to conform.
The Role of Language
The hosts emphasise the power of language in shaping experiences. Wem observes: “Language is never neutral. Even something as simple as, ‘You’re so brave,’ can carry unintended weight. It might feel like a compliment, but it could also make someone feel like they can’t express fear.”
Lewis reflects on how leaders can reframe their language: “Instead of saying, ‘You’re brave,’ try reflecting the child’s experience: ‘I see you’re taking your time with this—what do you think would help?’ It’s about opening a dialogue, not directing a response.”
Listening and Adapting
A key takeaway from the episode is the importance of listening to the needs of participants. Wem shares: “We have to remember that encouragement is about the other person, not us. Are we encouraging them because they need it, or because we feel uncomfortable with their hesitation or resistance?”
Lewis highlights the value of adapting practices: “Every child is different. Some thrive on encouragement, while others need space. It’s our job as leaders to tune in and adjust, not to assume one approach fits all.”
Reflecting on Our Own Practices
The episode encourages leaders and educators to reflect on their own practices. Wem suggests asking questions like:
Am I truly listening to this person’s needs?
Is my encouragement empowering them or pressuring them?
How can I create an environment where all voices are valued, even the quiet or hesitant ones?
Lewis adds: “It’s not about being perfect. We all make mistakes. What matters is being willing to learn and grow.”
A Call for Inclusive Encouragement
The conversation ends with a call to rethink encouragement as an act of inclusivity. Wem sums it up beautifully: “True encouragement doesn’t push people to meet our expectations. It supports them in being their authentic selves, whatever that looks like.”
Lewis concludes: “If we can shift our mindset from ‘helping’ to ‘listening,’ we create spaces where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.”
Conclusion
This episode challenges us to examine how we use encouragement in our practices. It’s a reminder that even the most well-intentioned actions can have unintended effects—and that listening, empathy, and adaptability are at the heart of truly inclusive leadership. By rethinking encouragement, we can create environments where everyone has the space to grow on their own terms.